The Xmen Meet the Harry Potter Gang
by Andrilena
Summary: The X-men go on a trip to London, where they meet... Harry Potter? (( Yeah, I know, summary sucks.. lol.. ))
1. Planning, Demerits, and Evil Professors

**Disclaimer thing:** I don't own the X-men Evolution cartoon or any of the mutants in this story, they're copyrighted to Marvel Comics and Warner Brothers, and... whoever else. I wish I did though, cause then I'd be rich! Filthy rich! Bwaahhaahhaaaahahhaaa!!!   
  
*pauses* Wait... Why do we always say 'filthy' rich? Don't rich people take baths? O_o I mean, it's not like they can't afford it... Hmmm.. Oh well!   
  
Right, one more thing... in case you're deprived and have never watched the cartoon before, lemme just mention that the characters in this story are really much saner on the show. Quite boring really... :P Well, enjoy de first chapter! ^_^   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
_**Planning, Demerits, and Evil Professors**_   
  
_In the Rec Room, which is located in the Xavier Institute for Frea- err, 'Gifted Youngters,' Professor Xavier sits in his wheelchair, a bunch of pamplets in his lap._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Come come, X-Freaks... I mean, X-MEN! Gather 'round!   
  
**Kitty:** Professor! I'm like, not a man! Or a freak!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *sighs, mumbling* I better be getting paid overtime for this...   
  
**Scott:** What was that, Professor?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Oh, nothing at all! *evil laughter* *clears throat* All right, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS, gather 'round!   
  
_All the X-Frea- I mean, X-BOYS and X-GIRLS move to stand in a line before the Professor._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Around! A-_round_! Not in front, you ido- um, I mean... you lovable students you! *gags when no one's looking*   
  
_The X-men... well, X-kids, finally understand and gather around the Professor in a square._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** -_-' Gah... *sighs* Close enough... *mumbles* Idiots...   
  
**Jean:** That wasn't a very nice thing to think... say... You big meanie! Fifteen demerits! And you have to clean the food every night for a month, and cook the X-jet 20 times a day... also for a month.   
  
**All:** O_o   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *whines* But Jeeeeannn... *pauses* Hey! I don't have to listen to you! You're merely a pathetic student! I'm the powerful... mutant called Xavier! Mwahahaahhahaahahaa!!!   
  
**All:** O_o *back away from the Professor*   
  
**Jean:** That's it! Fifteen _more_ demerits! And you also have to walk the grass and mow the dogs... seven times each hour.   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** What?! That's ridiculous!   
  
**Kitty:** Yeah! Cause like, we don't have any dogs! There's like, just Kurt.   
  
**Kurt:** Yah, dere's just... Hey! *glare*   
  
**Jean:** All right, then! He'll mow the Kurt seven times each hour! Ha! Teach you to call _me_ pathetic!   
  
**Kurt:** Yah, you can mow de Kurt... *pauses* Hey!   
  
**Evan:** *to no one imparticular* Can I throw my spykes at Jean?   
  
**Rogue:** Please.. _please_ do!   
  
**Evan:** *shrugs* Okay! *throws some spykes at Jean*   
  
**Jean:** Ahhhhh!!! *dies*   
  
**All:** Yay!   
  
**Jeans:** *comes back to life* Whew, that was close!   
  
**All:** Awww...   
  
**Jean:** And _you_! *glares at Evan*   
  
**Evan:** O_o Uh-oh...   
  
**Jean:** 200 demerits! And you're grounded for... forever!   
  
**Evan:** What?! O_O What for?!   
  
**Jean:** For attempting to kill me, duh!   
  
**Evan:** Oh yeah, that...   
  
**Kitty:** That's like, a stupid like, reason to ground him!   
  
**Jean:** *glare* Do _you_ want demerits too?   
  
**Kitty:** Eep... Like, sorry Jean! *hides behind the Professor's wheelchair*   
  
_Suddenly and without warning, Professor Xavier stands from his wheelchair, the pamplets falling from his lap._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** That's enough! Everyone just be _quiet_! *looks down, noticing he dropped the pamplets* Opps...   
  
**Bobby:** Whoa! Professor! You're standing!   
  
**Kitty:** Like wow! He really is!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *stares at them all* Of course I am! How do you think I use the bathro-   
  
**Scott:** Professor! Please, do _not_ finish that sentence...   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *sighs* Fine... *mumbles* Bathroom...   
  
**Scott:** What did you say, Professor?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Huh? Oh... uhh... nothing! I said nothing at all! And you don't _have_ to keep calling me 'Professor' you know...   
  
**Scott:** Okay, Professor.   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** -_-' You said it again!   
  
**Scott:** Opps, sorry Professor...   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Argh, I give up! *looks around* Where are Logan and Storm? And Beast? Can't forget him...   
  
**Bobby:** *stares* Uhhh... Professor? Can't you just use your power to find out where they are?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *wasn't listening* I know! I'll use my power to find out where they are! Duh, Xavier! *smacks forehead* Ouch..   
  
**Bobby:** *gapes* But...I...But...I...But...I...But...I... I just said that!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *uses his mind and calls out to the three he mentioned before* _Get your mutant butts in here! Now!_ *pauses* _We're in the Rec Room... So hurry it up!_ *pauses again* _And bring me twenty sandwiches while you're at it, I'm starved!_   
  
**~~In another part of the Mansion...~~**   
  
**Storm:** *frowns* Charles certainly is bossy today... Did you get the mental commands too?   
  
**Logan:** *grunts* Yeah, I did. Xavier can fix his own sandwiches, I'm not his maid...   
  
_Suddenly, Xavier's voice fills his mind: "Bring me those sandwiches or I'll... make you think you're a seven-year-old girl who's favorite color is... pink!"_   
  
**Logan:** *gasp, eyes widen* He wouldn't dare!   
  
_Xavier's voice again: "I would too! Mwaahhahahhahahaaa!!!" A pause... "So hurry it up! And remember, don't use any products containing bread!"_   
  
**Logan:** *slowly turns to look at Storm* He wants his sandwiches... Without bread... *pauses* How can I make a freakin' sandwich without using bread?!?! It's not possible!   
  
**Storm:** Logan, calm down! I'm sure we can figure something out...   
  
**Beast:** *busy typing away at a computer* You could always use tored...   
  
**Logan:** What... in the world... is tored?   
  
**Beast:** *eyes glued to the screen before him* It's like bread, only made completely and entirely with tofu.   
  
**Storm:** See, I told you we could figure something out...   
  
**Logan:** Tofu? TOFU?! Ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!   
  
_Logan runs out of the room, smashing through a wall, arms flailing about. Having smashed through a wall to the outside, he simply keeps on running, while screaming his head off._   
  
**Beast:** *still not looking up* What's wrong with him?   
  
**Storm:** Oh dear, I forgot all about his fear of tofu...   
  
**Beast:** *blinks, finally looking up and over at Storm* He's afraid of tofu? *laughs hysterically* W-w-w-why?   
  
**Storm:** *frowns* It's nothing to laugh about. It just so happens to be quite a tragic stooooorrrrryyyyy...   
  
-----------   
  
The Stoooooryyyy...   
  
_Storm, telling the stoooorryyy: "It all started when Logan was assigned to do the grocery shopping..."_   
  
**Logan:** *grumbling* Can't believe... making ME do the shopping... little brats... always eating...   
  
_Storm: "Of course, Logan being the stubborn one he was... and still is, complained the whole time..."_   
  
**Logan:** Selfish bratty brats... can't buy own food... should get jobs... I should get my own place... and a job...   
  
_Storm: "Yet despite the numerous amount of complaining he did, the food on the list was slowly placed into his shopping cart... with yet further complaints..."_   
  
**Logan:** Pop tarts? What kind of food is that? It's not, that's what... Bah, better get them or the brats'll just whine... Stupid brats... Oooh.. Cheerios!   
  
_Storm: "Poor Logan... he didn't know what was to come... As he grabbed a box of his beloved Cheerios, a can of tofu placed directly in front of the box slid forward..."_   
  
**Logan:** It's the last box, too! And there's even a picture of a can of tofu on it! Hmmm... that's strange... Wha? OWWW!!!   
  
_Storm: *sniffling* "Yes, that's right... The can of tofu... Fell... onto Logan's... big toe!" *bursts into tears*_   
  
**Logan:** My big toe! Ahhhhh!!! Ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow!!!!!   
  
_Storm: "After... grabbing his... hurt... toe... and hopping up and down... he... saw the can..."_   
  
**Logan:** That can of tofu was real! And it attacked me!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!   
  
_Storm: "He ran screaming from the store... and was never the same after that tragic accident..."_   
  
End of Stooooorryyy....   
  
-----------   
  
**Storm:** The... the end... *dabs her eyes with a handkerchief*   
  
_Beast stares blankly at Storm for a full three seconds, before bursting into a fit of laughter._   
  
**Beast:** A c-c-c-can of to-to-tofu f-f-fell on his... BIG TOE?! Ahahhahhahahaaa!!!   
  
**Storm:** *stops dabbing her eyes and frowns at him* It's not funny, Hank!   
  
**Beast:** *rolls around on the floor, still laughing*   
  
**Storm:** *eyes narrow* Fine then... you asked for it!   
  
_Storm's eyes go completely white, as the sound of thunder fills the room. Suddenly, through the hole in the wall that Logan made, a bolt of lightning streaks in and strikes Beast._   
  
**Beast:** *is now charred and laying still* Ow... Okay Storm, sorry...   
  
**Storm:** *everything goes back to...err...how it was* Good... And I'm sorry too... *turns and heads towards the door* Oh, and be sure to make Charles those sandwiches, all right? *leaves the room*   
  
**Beast:** *cough* No *cough* problem...   
  
**~~Back at the Rec Room...~~**   
  
_Storm walks into the room, stopping short when she sees all the students running laps, in their underwear, while the Professor blew a loud whistle..._   
  
**Storm:** Dear God! What is going on in here? *shivers* It's cold in here!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *turns around* It's about time you showed up. I'm punishing these stupid chickens... I mean children... *blows whistle* Did I say you could stop?! Huh, huh?!   
  
**Storm:** *winces* Punishment? But what for, Charles? And surely this isn't the type of punishment the students should be given...   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Well, because they're stupid, that's why. And of course it is!   
  
**Storm:** *blinks* Umm, I beg your pardon? *stares* Oh my! Charles, you're standing!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** I said they're stupid. They didn't know that the Earth was flat, before it turned into a circle. *snorts* And apparently you're stupid too, if you just now noticed I'm not in that ghastly chair with wheels... That's it, punishment time for you! Off with your clothes!   
  
**Storm:** O_o What?! But... but Charles! This is insane! What is wrong with you? And I'm not taking my clothes off!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *sighs* Not ALL of them, stupid... You can leave your underthings on. Now, step to it! I haven't got all day!   
  
**Storm:** *sighs heavily* Fiiine... *lifts the hem of her shirt, before spinning around and bolting out the door*   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Hey! Get back here! *chases*   
  
**Students:** *stop running, dropping to the floor, exhausted*   
  
**Scott:** Quick, Jean, the door! Shut it before he comes back!   
  
**Jean:** *shakes head* Nope... I won't do it.   
  
**Rogue:** Stupid prep... *leaps up* Ah'll do it! *runs to the door and slams it shut, before locking it* Com' on, let's slide the couch ova' here...   
  
**Evan:** Nah, we'll be fine...   
  
**Bobby:** Yeah, Evan's right, we'll be fine... Besides, we'd never be able to move it anyhow...   
  
**Rogue:** *raises brow* Oh? An' wat makes yeh say that?   
  
**Bobby:** *flipping through a Cosmo mag that happened to be lying around* Oh well, maybe it had something to do with the hundred pounds of gold bars hidden under the cushions...   
  
**Rogue:** *snorts* Yah right... Yeh think I'm really that dum'?   
  
**Bobby:** You _really_ want me to answer that?   
  
**Rogue:** Grrr... why yeh little... *lunges*   
  
**Bobby:** Eep! O_O   
  
**Kitty:** Oh wow! Like, there really _is_ gold in here! *has lifted the couch cushions*   
  
**Rogue:** Whoa... really? *drops Bobby and walks over to the couch* Oh...mah...God...   
  
**Jean:** *leaps up* That's it, I can't take it any longer! *points* You, Rogue, have 30 demerits for locking the Professor out. *points* You, Bobby, have 30 demerits for looking through that Cosmo magazine. *points* And you, Kitty, have 60 demerits for removing the cushions from the couch so carelessly and for finding gold that isn't yours.   
  
**Rogue:** What the hell?! O' course Ah locked him out! Tha Prof's goin' mad!   
  
**Bobby:** And what does me looking at a magazine have anything to do with it?   
  
**Jean:** *to Rogue* That's still no excuse to lock him out. *to Bobby* Because that's _my_ magazine! *snatches it away*   
  
**Kitty:** *is too busy staring at the gold bars to notice she was given demerits*   
  
_Suddenly, the door crashes open, Professor Xavier walking in and dragging Storm with him. Xavier shoves her down onto the floor, before looking at the students._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Right, I almost forgot to tell you all! *pauses, grinning widely* We're going to London!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
(( That's all of chapter one! ^_^ Sorry it was so long, lol. But once I started writing... it was hard to stop, hehe. Right, anywho... the next chapter will be centered at Hogwarts, with the Harry Potter gang, but both groups'll meet up soon. Please review! And read some of my other stories if you can. Thankies, byes for now :D )) 


	2. Points, Wheelchairs, and No Magic

**Second Disclaimer thing:** Right... um, well, I don't own Harry Potter or any of the wizards/witches in this part of the story. They belong to J.K. Rowling. And unfortunately, so does Hogwarts :( Boo hoo, I wanna own Hoggywarts! *buys plane tickets to London* What? Don't be fooled... I'm not planning on trying to find and take over Hogwarts! *hides her book, titled: "How to Find and Take Over Hogwarts"* Ehheehehehee... :D   
  
**More stuffs:** Yay, I got me some reviews! Wahoo! *huggles the reviewers* They like me, they really like me! *sniffles* Erm, I mean, they like the story! So far, at least! Yayness!   
  
**amri-dragmire:** The next chapter is right here. I didn't mean for it to take this long. You see, this creature that lives with me... some people might call him my brother... well, he just got a new computer game about a week ago, and has been hogging the puter quite a bit -_-' Argh...   
  
Ahem, okay then... Thankies to all my reviewers ^_^ I might do a more personal thank-you later on, but not now... cause I'm too lazy, haha! :P Right then, on with the story!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
**_Points, Wheelchairs, and No Magic_**   
  
_Deep in the smelly... erm, I mean, 'dark and musty' dungeons at the Hogwarts School of Evi- er, 'Witchcraft and Wizardry'... the fifth year students in both the Gryffindor house and the Slytherin house were having a joint lesson... A Potions lesson, to be exact... or trying to, at least... And for some reason, only half the students from each house are there... veeeery strange, if you don't ask me..._   
  
**Snape:** That's it! Twenty points from Gryffindor!   
  
**Slytherins:** *snigger*   
  
**Harry:** What?! But we didn't _do_ anything!   
  
**Snape:** Silence, Potter! And of course you did! You all showed up for class!   
  
**Slytherins:** *snigger again*   
  
**Hermione:** *raises hand* But Professor Snape, we were _supposed_ to show up! This was our next class!   
  
**Snape:** That's it! You can all thank Granger for making you all lose thirty more points!   
  
**Slytherins:** *snigger even more*   
  
**Neville:** Thank you, Granger! *pauses* Who's Granger?   
  
**Snape:** And you can also thank Mister Longbottom here, for making you lose fifty more points! Haha!   
  
**Ron:** *glares at Neville* It's Hermione! And you just made us lose fifty more points, you ruddy git!   
  
**Neville:** No I didn't! Mister Londpottom did!   
  
**Harry:** He said _Longbottom_, you git!   
  
**Neville:** Ohhhhh.... *pause* Who's Longbottom?   
  
**Ron:** *slaps forehead* Oy...   
  
_Meanwhile... On the other side of the room... The Slytherins, who find the pointless removal of Gryffindor points very funny, are currently rolling around on the floor, laughing their guts out... literally._   
  
**Slytherins:** *are rolling around on the floor, laughing their guts out... literally*   
  
_See? Told ya..._   
  
**Crabbe:** *stops suddenly* Hey, look! It's my heart! *picks it up*   
  
**Goyle:** Coooool!!!! Lemme see! *steals the heart*   
  
**Crabbe:** Hey! Give it back, you clepto! That's mine! *lunges*   
  
**Draco:** *squeals, speaking in a girly voice* Eeeek! Guys! Like, get that like, thing like, a-_way_ from me! I just like, had like, my nails done, like! And like, I also like, just had my hair like, fixed! Don't like, ruin it with like, all that gross and like, icky blood!   
  
**Goyle:** *isn't listening to the girly-sounding-and-acting Draco* Noooooooo!!! I wanna hold it, and pet it, and hug it, and feed it! And love it! It's my pet now! You can't have it! *dodges Crabbe*   
  
**Crabbe:** *crashes into a cauldron* Ow! *leaps up and whirls around, glaring* That's my _heart_ you twit! You better give it back!   
  
**Goyle:** Gasp! You just called me a _biiird_! I'm teeeellinnnggg.... *runs off to find Snape, still holding the heart*   
  
**Crabbe:** Gah! *gets dragged along, since the heart IS still attached and all...*   
  
**Draco:** *still speaking in girly voice* Like, oh my god! I like, broke a nail! Ahhhhhhhh!!! What like, has this world come too?! *bursts into tears*   
  
_Ahem, right... back to the other side of the room we go! The Gryffindors and Snape are still arguing and junk... Points are still being taken away for no reason... blah blah..._   
  
**Snape:** How dare you accuse me of pouring artificial grease onto my hair! A hundred more points from Gryffindor!   
  
**Hermione:** Great, that leaves us with... negative three hundred and fifty points!   
  
**Ron:** Thank you, Madam Obvious...   
  
**Hermione:** Shut up.   
  
**Ron:** No, you shut up!   
  
**Hermione:** *frowns* No, _you_ shut up!   
  
**Ron:** No, YOU!   
  
**Hermione:** YOU!   
  
**Ron:** YOOOUUU!!!   
  
**Hermione:** YYYOOOUUUU.... *pauses* I'm bored, wanna beat up Snape instead?   
  
**Ron:** *shrugs* Fine by me! *tackles Snape*   
  
**Hermione:** Yay! *tackles Snape too*   
  
**Snape:** Ahhh!!! Th-that's it! Tw-tw-two hundred...   
  
_Snape is suddenly rendered speechless by a spell Hermione has put on him, using only a mere stick! Wooooow!_   
  
**Harry:** Hey, guys, don't leave me out! I'm the Boy-Who-Lived! I should get the right to beat up Snape too! In fact, I should have more of a right to it than you two! He hates _me_ the most, anyhow!   
  
**Hermione:** Harry, why are you yelling? We're right here, you know... *is pouring pumpkin juice onto Snape's hair*   
  
**Harry:** Because it's my right to yell! *kicks Snape*   
  
**Ron:** *ignoring Herm* Snape hates Harry the most? Ha, no he doesn't! He hates _me_ the most! Always saying, "Weasley, your family is nothing but a bunch of poor, stupid Muggle-lovers!" Or... whatever he says! *pokes Snape in the eye*   
  
**Harry:** Snape doesn't say that! Draco does, you nitwit. Or he used to, at least, before he... turned... weird... And I still say Snape hates ME the most!   
  
_Harry lands a punch upon Snape's long nose, so hard that his nose... begins to bleed! Gasp!_   
  
**Hermione:** Well, you're _both_ wrong! Snape actually hates _me_ the most!   
  
_Ron and Harry both pause in their beating up of Snape, to gawk at Hermione._   
  
**Ron:** YOU?!   
  
**Harry:** He doesn't hate _you_!   
  
**Hermione:** Of course he does! It's because I'm so smart! He's jealous of me!   
  
**Ron:** Snape... jealous... of YOU? *sniggers*   
  
**Hermione:** It's not funny, Ron! It's true! Snape is jealous, and that leads to him hating me.   
  
**Neville:** I actually think you're _all_ wrong!   
  
_Ron, Harry, and Hermione all turn to stare wide-eyed at Neville, having forgotten he was even there._   
  
**Harry:** What... did... you... say?   
  
**Neville:** I said that I think you're all wrong. Snape really hates _me_ the most.   
  
**Hermione:** And what makes you think that?   
  
**Neville:** Well, Snape told me so, of course! He said, "Mr. Longbottom, I hate you the most." He did, he did.   
  
**Ron, Harry, & Herm:** Ohhhhhhh....   
  
_Suddenly, the door to the Potion's dungeon or whatever flies open. In comes Dumbledore, but... what's he sitting on? A chair with wheels?! Oh my!_   
  
**Dumbledore:** Hello everyone! How are my precious students on this fine day?   
  
**Hermione:** Dumbledore! You're... you're...   
  
**Harry:** In a wheelchair!   
  
**Ron:** Yeah, you are! *pauses* What's a wheelchair?   
  
**Dumbledore:** Huh? *looks down and chuckles* Oh right, I am! Did I forget to tell you? My legs have been made useless! I can no longer walk! It's strange, really...   
  
**Hermione:** But... but... how could this have happened? You were perfectly fine this morning!   
  
**Dumbledore:** Yes, I was indeed... *sigh* This morning... it seems so long ago... Like ten years, perhaps...   
  
**Ron:** *is staring at the 'wheelie chair'*   
  
**Hermione:** But Professor, it's only been a couple of hours since the morning ended... That's not very long at all...   
  
_While they were all talking... well, Hermione and Dumbledore were at least... sort of... Anyhow, while they were all doing whatever, Harry was busy studying the wheel chair... and the wheels._   
  
**Harry:** Why, this wheel chair is electric!   
  
**Hermione:** What? No, Harry, it can't... *looks at the chair* Gasp! It... it _is_ electric! But... but... how? Electricity doesn't work here at Hogwarts!   
  
**Ron:** You're right, it doesn't! *another pause* What's elec..tri..city?   
  
**Harry:** Apparently it does, Hermione.   
  
**Hermione:** No... this... cannot be! The magical field around the school is supposed to cancel out electrical fields, meaning electricity won't work here!   
  
**Dumbledore:** Oh right, that! Well, you see, my wheelchair wouldn't work before and I'm far too lazy to push the wheels myself, so I took down the magical field! Now no one can cast spells or anything! Isn't that just lovely? *grins*   
  
**Hermione:** You... did... what?   
  
_Snape, having been listening to all of this, thankful that the students weren't beating up onto him any longer, gapes at the headmaster person._   
  
**Snape:** You mean... I've been able to talk this whole time?! *claps hand over mouth* Gasp! I...I...I can speak! *looks at the Gryffi's and grins evilly*   
  
**Gryffindors:** O_o Eep!   
  
_But before Snape could lunge at any of them, Crabbe runs up to him... or was it Goyle? They look so much alike all of a sudden... Oh, no, it was Crabbe, yes... Wait, I mean Goyle. It was Goyle! Yes yes, Goyle..._   
  
**Goyle:** Hey Snape! Mister Snape ma'm, sir... uhhh... whatever you are.   
  
**Snape:** *eyes narrow* What in Merlin's name do you _want_, Goyle?!   
  
**Goyle:** Oh, I don't want a new name, Snape ma'm... sir... I just want to tell you something.   
  
**Snape:** *glare* What is it, Goyle?! Tell me now, before I cast a hex upon you!   
  
**Dumbledore:** *shakes head* Not uh... No magic, remember? It's gone! Gone! Gooooooneeee!!! Wheeeeeeeee!!! *spins around in the chair, using the joystick thing to guide it in circles*   
  
**Snape:** Argh... *mumbles* Bloody git, that headmaster is. *pulls a clump of grease(mixed with pumpkin juice) out of his hair and throws it at Dumbledore* Fear the wrath of my hair grease! Mwaahhaahhahaa!!! *misses* Drat!   
  
**Dumbledore:** *doesn't even notice* Wheeeeeeeeeeee!!! La la la la laaaaa!!!   
  
**Harry:** *to Herm* Dumbledore has finally gone bananas...   
  
**Hermione:** Yep.   
  
**Harry:** And not exactly in a good way...   
  
**Hermione:** Yep.   
  
**Harry:** Is that all you're going to say?   
  
**Hermione:** Yep.   
  
**Harry:** -_-' Oy...   
  
**Ron:** Ooooohh... bananas? I want a banana! Gimme gimme! *hops around, like a monkey, no less*   
  
_While Ron acks like a monkey, Dumbledore goes bananas, Harry remains somewhat sane along with Hermione, Neville gets ignored, Snape strangles Goyle, and Crabbe... manages to get his heart back and where it belongs, Draco approaches the group..._   
  
**Draco:** Ahem... Like, what is like, going on here? Why do you guys always like, leave me like, out of everything! *pouts*   
  
_Yep, he's still speaking in that like, annoying and like, girly like, voice...like._   
  
**Draco:** *stomps foot* You guys are like, being so like, totally mean to like, me!   
  
_Dumbledore suddenly stops wheeling his chair around in circles and looks at the whiny, pathetic, girly Draco.._   
  
**Dumbledore:** Hey Draco! How's my favoritest person in the whole wide world?   
  
**Harry:** *gapes* Dr-dr-dr-dr-dr... _Draco_ is your most favorite person in the whole world?!   
  
**Dumbledore:** *chuckles* No no nooooo... He's my _favoritest_ person in the whole _wide_ world...   
  
**Harry:** And that should make me feel better, because...?   
  
**Dumbledore:** Why, cause my _most favorite_ person in the whole world is, in fact, yo-...   
  
**Harry:** Me?   
  
**Dumbledore:** You-...   
  
**Harry:** ME? *grinning*   
  
**Dumbledore:** You-... Your friend, Hermione!   
  
**Harry:** *grin fades* WHAT?!   
  
**Dumbledore:** *nods* Yep, it's Hermione! She's my most favorite person in the whole world!   
  
**Hermione:** *blushes* Why, Professor Dumbledore! I'm... I'm... I'm...   
  
**Harry:** Stupid.   
  
**Hermione:** Gasp! _Harry James Potter_! How dare you call ME stupid!   
  
**Harry:** Whaaaat? I didn't call you stupid! All I said was 'Stupid.' It's just one measley little word! Jeeze...   
  
**Hermione:** But you... Argh, nevermind. Just forget it... *mumbles* You're just jealous...   
  
**Harry:** What was that?   
  
**Hermione:** Uhh.. nothing, nothing!   
  
**Harry:** *glares, before going over to Ron* I don't like Hermione anymore. Ron, are you listening? Roooon....?   
  
_Ron is currently busy... sort of.. meaning he's still hopping around like a monkey, searching for a banana or two... or three... or four... or a million!_   
  
**Harry:** *snaps fingers, waving hand* Earth to Ron...   
  
**Ron:** Banana... Ba..na...na... Banana! Must have banana! *scratches armpits*   
  
**Harry:** *glare* Fine then! I don't need you either! *walks over to Draco* Hey Draco...   
  
**Draco:** *pinches nose* Ewww... you like, smell like a loser to me... Like, get away from me! *screeches, before dashing out of the classroom.. dungeon.. thing*   
  
**Harry:** *goes over to Neville* Uhhh...   
  
**Neville:** O_o Harry? Harry Potter... is talking... to ME? To MEEEEE?   
  
**Harry:** Uhhh...   
  
**Neville:** Wow, this is soooo amazing! I can't believe it! Someone's talking to me! And not just any someone, but Harry Potter himself! Wow! This is great! I... I... I... I can't believe it!   
  
**Harry:** Uhhh...   
  
_Ahem... let's go back over to Snape and Goyle now, who have just recently been joined by Crabbe, shall we? Yes, let's..._   
  
**Snape:** For the _last time_ Goyle, I am _not_ going to make Crabbe give you his heart!   
  
**Crabbe:** Yay!   
  
**Goyle:** *cries* But... but why not?   
  
**Snape:** Because that is just absolutely unheard of! And gross, it's very gross! So shutup about it!   
  
**Crabbe:** *hugs Snape* Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!   
  
**Snape:** Ewww, disgusting! Let go of me, right this minute!   
  
_Snape tries to shove Crabbe off and away from him, but cannot! Possibly because Crabbe is so fat, and Snape is so... skinny... and bony... and well, not strong at all..._   
  
**Snape:** Gah... must... remove... fat... tub... of lard... away... from... me!   
  
_Suddenly, Dumbledore wheels forward, whistling loudly to get their attention.._   
  
**All:** *look at de headmaster*   
  
**Dumbledore;** Yay, it worked! *clears throat* Ahem... Listen up, please! I have an annoucement! *pauses for a dramatic effect* We're going on a trip! To America! To a town called Bayville!   
  
**All:** Wow, really?!   
  
**Dumbledore:** No! Haha, tricked you good didn't I? *starts laughing histerically*   
  
**All:** Awwww... darn.. *sigh*   
  
_Meanwhile, as everyone goes back to whatever he or she was or wasn't doing, Harry begins looking at the wheels on Dumbledore's chair more carefully..._   
  
**Harry:** Hey... I wonder what those large X's are supposed to be for... Hmmm... I guess they're just for decoration...   
  
_Or are they....?_   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
(( Dat was chapter 2! :D Soo... what did everyone think? Yes, I know, most of the charries were rather... odd... especially Draco. But that's the fun of it! To make them act different! Hehe ^_^ Please review and tell me what you think or don't think, or just.. whatever. The next chappy will be the X-men again, and the one after that'll probably be when they all meet for the first time.. dunno yet though, we'll see! ^_^ )) 


	3. Pastels, Bad Ideas, and Fast Packing

**Author notes thingy:** I am so so sorry that I took forever to update this fic. I have a bad habit of starting fics and not finishing them -_-' Bad me. Anyways... to everyone who's bookmarked this fic and checked back to see if it's been updated, here it is! The third chapter! Hope you enjoy it, and I promise not to take forever to write the next chappie. If I do take forever, you have my permission to come and hunt me down, and force me to write it. :D Happy reading!   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
**_Pastels, Bad Ideas, and Fast Packing_**   
  
Back inside the X-frea- I mean X-men's, Rec Room, the X-kids and Storm stared at Professor Xavier in shock. And they were mysteriously dressed once again.   
  
**Kitty:** Like, what did you say, Professor?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** I said that we're going to London! And don't call me Professor!   
  
**Kitty:** Like sor-ree! Jeesh...   
  
**Storm:** Charles, why are we going to London? Does a mutant reside there?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *laughs* No, no, no! Not a mutant, you silly moose! We're going to London because... I say we are, that's why!   
  
**Jean:** But Professor, that's not a very good reason!   
  
**Scott:** Yeah, Professor, Jean's wrong! Err, I mean, Jean's right! That's _not_ a very good reason...   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Quiet you! And you! We're going to London, and that's final!   
  
_Xavier turned to leave, still walking, when he smacked into a wall and turned back around._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Oh, and one more thing... Stop calling me Professor!   
  
_After Profes- I mean, 'Xavier', left the room, the X-kids and Storm stared at each other._   
  
**Storm:** Well...that...was...odd....   
  
**Rogue:** Yah, talk about weird.   
  
**Bobby:** I wonder why the Prof- err, I mean, 'Xavier' wants us to go to London so badly for?   
  
**Rogue:** Who cares? Ah'm not goin'!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *yelling from another room* Oh yes you are, Rogue!   
  
**Rogue:** *blinks and frowns* No Ah'm not!   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** *inside her head* _If you don't, I'll make you think that you're... Jean! And that... you like... pastels!_   
  
**Rogue:** *screams* No, not her! Not Jean! And... Not tha pastals! Ahhhh!!! Okay, okay, Ah'll gooo!   
  
_Xavier grinned and did the 'Yay-I-win' dance, which no one else could see, thank goodness._   
  
**Rogue:** *sighs with relief* Tha' was close...   
  
_The X-kids and Storm all turn to stare at her._   
  
**Rogue:** Wha'?! Why are ya'll starin'?!   
  
**Kurt:** Rogue, vhat vas dat all about?   
  
**Rogue:** Wha' was _what_ all about?   
  
**Kurt:** Dat dink, with you, yellink about Jean.   
  
**Jean:** Yeah, just what _was_ that all about???   
  
**Rogue:** Ah have no idea wat ya'll're talkin' about...   
  
**Scott:** ...You were yelling something about Jean!   
  
**Kurt:** Jah, you were, Rogue!   
  
**Rogue:** Ah was not!   
  
**Bobby & Evan:** Yes you were!   
  
**Kitty:** Yeah, and you were also like yelling something about pastels or something...   
  
**Rogue:** No, not tha pastals! Anythin' but tha pastals!   
  
_Rogue drops to the floor and curls up into a square, while shivering._   
  
**Kurt:** Oh kreat, now look vhat you've dun, Kitty!   
  
**Kitty:** Me? I like so totally didn't _do_ anything!   
  
**Bobby:** Yes you did, Kitty.   
  
**Kitty:** I like so didn't do a thing! What did I like do, anyway?   
  
**Scott:** You made Rogue go all... Pastels! You brought up the pastels!   
  
**Kitty:** ...So?   
  
**Scott:** Don't you know anything?   
  
**Kitty:** Um, like duh, Scott. Of course I do. But what does pastels have to do with anything?   
  
**Scott:** *sighs* Rogue is... she doesn't like... she's...   
  
**Bobby:** Oh for crying out loud, just say it! Rogue's afraid of pastels!   
  
_Rogue, still lying on the floor curled up into a square, screeches and begins twitching._   
  
**Kitty:** ...She is?   
  
**Evan:** Yeah, she is. Jeesh, you didn't know that? Where have you been?   
  
**Kurt:** Jah, I dought everybody knew dat!   
  
**Scott:** And Kitty, you're Rogue's roomate! You of all people should have known!   
  
**Kitty:** Well, I like _did_ know! But I like so didn't think it was true, you know?   
  
**Storm:** All right, that's enough, children. If we're going to London, we'd better start packing.   
  
**Jean:** But Storm...   
  
**Storm:** No but's, Jean. Charles wants us to go to London, so we'd better all get ready.   
  
_And so, with the amazing abilities that are available in a parody such as this, the X-men have their bags packed and are ready to leave in five hours... I mean minutes... Err, seconds!_   
  
**Kitty:** Wow, that was like, fast!   
  
**Evan:** Yeah, you're telling me! But I just remembered something...   
  
**Scott:** What is it, Evan?   
  
**Evan:** I'm not even supposed to be here! I joined the Morlocks, duh! See ya!   
  
_Evan grabbed up his skateboard and... well... skated out the door._   
  
**Jean:** Evan, you get back here! At once! Evvvvvaaaaaannnnn!!!   
  
_But it was too late, he was gone._   
  
**Bobby:** *cheers* He's gone! Now maybe I'll get to be an official X-man! Wahoo!   
  
**Jean:** Uh... no. Don't think so, Bobby.   
  
**Bobby:** What? Aw, darn! That's not fair...   
  
**Kurt:** Aw, yer jus' a sore loser...   
  
**Bobby:** Huh? What'd you say, fuzzball?   
  
**Kurt:** Uhhh... heh heh... Nuffink! I said nuffink!   
  
**Kitty:** Liar, you called Bobby a toaster.   
  
**Bobby:** You called me... a toaster? A toaster?! How dare you call me such an awful thing! I'm gonna get you for this, hairball!   
  
_Bobby lunges at Kurt, who squeals and ports away. Bobby crashes into Logan, who had just come back._   
  
**Logan:** Hey, get off me, bub!   
  
**Bobby:** *frowning* Darn that fuzzbrain and his power!   
  
**Logan:** I said get off me, kid!   
  
**Bobby:** Eep! *jumps up* Uh, so-sorry, wolfman!   
  
**Logan:** What... did you just call me?   
  
**Kitty:** He called you a cowgirl.   
  
**Logan:** What?! A cowgirl?! A COWGIRL?! Why you little-   
  
_Logan lunges at Bobby, who gets tackled to the floor, since he can't port away. Raising a hand, Logan extends his claws._   
  
**Bobby:** *crying* Please don't hurt me!   
  
_Suddenly, Beast comes into the room, panting, while carrying a plate piled high with sandwiches._   
  
**Beast:** Came... as fast... as I could... Made... sandwiches... no bread... Where's... Charles?   
  
_Xavier suddenly entered the room, grinning widely._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Everything's loaded into the Blackbird! Is everyone ready to go? Remember, there will be no bathroom breaks, so go now if yo-   
  
_Before he could finish, all the X-kids(except Rogue), plus Storm and Logan, raced from the room._   
  
**Kitty:** Haha, I won!   
  
**Bobby:** That's no fair, she used her power!   
  
**Jean:** Let me in! I'm the smartest, so me first!   
  
**Logan:** Haha... yeah right. _I_ should be first, cause I'm the oldest!   
  
_Xavier laughed, before turning back to look down at Beast, the only other person in the room besides Rogue._   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Oh, the sandwiches! Thank you, Beast. Unfortunately, I'm not hungry anymore.   
  
_He turned and left the room, as Beast wheezed and dropped the plate, before collapsing onto the floor._   
  
**Narrator person:** And now, we are skipping ahead... *flipping through pages* We don't need to listen as Jean and Kurt argue about who's prettier, or see Logan nearly rip Bobby's pinkie off, or watch as Kitty phases herself through a toilet and gets stuck... Boring stuff, really. *stops at a page* Aha, here we are!   
  
_Suddenly, the Blackbird begins flying at breakneck speed towards... the sky! Err, I mean, the ground! Gasp!_   
  
**Rogue:** This is all tha pastals doin'! Ahhhhh!!!   
  
**Logan:** *cries* I'm too old to die!   
  
**Scott:** I haven't gotten to kiss Rogue yet!   
  
**Jean:** What?!   
  
**Scott:** I meant Jean! I haven't gotten to kiss Jean yet!   
  
**Kitty:** Oh puh-lease! Everyone knows you have a thing for that Agatha woman!   
  
**All, except Kit, Scott, and Jean:** Ewwwwwww!!!   
  
**Jean:** You like... her?! Her?! What about me! Am I too young for you, is that it? Huh, huh???   
  
**Scott:** *glaring at Kitty* Thanks a lot! You just blew my secret!   
  
**All(same as above):** Double ewwwwwwww!!!   
  
**Kitty:** Oh, come on! They were gonna find out that you like her, anyways. And that you've kissed her... twice!   
  
**All:** Triple ewwww ewwww ewwwwwww!!!   
  
**Jean:** I can't believe you! All this time, I've been keeping it a secret that I'm dating Magneto when you've been seeing someone else too!   
  
**All:** GASP!   
  
**Scott:** Magneto?! You're dating... Magneto?! And you all think _I'm_ sick! She's sleeping with the enemy!   
  
**Jean:** No, actually, I'm sleeping with Todd Tolensky.   
  
_Before anymore 'Ewwwwwww's can be yelled, the Blackbird crashes to the earth. The ones who weren't wearing seatbelts, which is everyone, fly out of their seats._   
  
**Magneto:** Wheee, I'm flying!   
  
**Beast:** Gasp! Where'd he come from?   
  
**Prof. Xavier:** Oh, he's been here the whole time! Did I forget to mention that ol' Maggie's joining us?   
  
**Magneto:** Don't call me Mag- Ooooh... what's that?   
  
_Everyone looked out the window, to stare up at a huge castle, with a lake bordering one side. And not too far away from the jet, was a thick tree, waving its branches angrily._   
  
**All:** Ooooohh...   
  
**Logan:** Where... are we?   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
(( Well, that's the end of chapter 3! Hope you all liked it, at least a little, anyways ^_^ Again, sorry it took me soooo long to update. Promise it shaun't happen again... I hope :P hehehe... Oh yeah, and remember... Next chappie will be Harry Potter again, and then the one after that is when everyone meets! So don't forget ^_^ Until next time! *waves* )) 


	4. Spells, Umbridge, and Acting Natural

**Disclaimer:** Nope, again, I don't own Harry, Ron, Hermione, Snape, Draco, Hogwarts, etc, etc, etc. Wow, that's a lot of commas O.o *coughs* Anywho... I also don't own J.K. Rowling. I do believe she owns herself.   
  
**Author's ramblings:** Right. Now, I realize that many people who read this might think, "Harry doesn't act like that!" and so on. Well, I know that, because I've read all the books, duh XP But since this is a parody of sorts, I thought it would be much funner(does that make sense?) if Harry and company were a bit... different. In a funny way, of course. I'm in no way trying to insult Harry Potter or those who read the books. Because I love the books, so... yeah. I'm definately rambling O.o   
  
*coughs* Well, carry on, then! Go, be free to read and hopefully laugh! ^_^   
  
----------------------------------   
  
**_Spells, Umbridge, and Acting Natural_**   
  
_Back at the Hogwarts School for Dark Magic and Evil Potion Brewing... I mean, for Witchcraft and Wizardry, the students are eating lunch in the Great Big Hall. Also known as just 'the Great Hall', though it is rather big. We settle upon Harry Potter, the boy who died... errr... lived!_   
  
**Harry:** And that, my friends, is how Muggles scrub the toilet bowl!   
  
**Ron:** Facinating! And to think, they do it all without magic!   
  
**Hermione:** Oh honestly, Ron. You really should take Muggle Studies. Then you would learn loads more about Muggles than simply about scrubing toilets.   
  
**Ron:** *blinks, staring at Hermione* So, Harry, show me the way they hold a toilet brush again?   
  
**Hermione:** *sighs* I suppose I would find the conversation much more interesting if I wasn't Muggle-born...   
  
_Suddenly, a lightbulb shines brightly over Hermione's head. So brightly, in fact, that everyone nearby is blinded._   
  
**Hermione:** I've got it!   
  
**Nearby Students:** Ow, my eyes! My eeeyyess!!!   
  
**Hermione:** *not listening* I shall perform a spell, that will rid me of all my Muggle thoughts and ways! I will forget all of it! Then, Harry can tell me all about cleaning toilets and I won't be bored! Why, it's... it's... brilliant!   
  
**Harry:** Ron? Ron, where are you?   
  
**Ron:** Harry? I... I can't see you!   
  
**Hermione:***still not listening* Oh, the cleverness of me!   
  
**Peter Pan:** Hey, that's my line!   
  
_Suddenly... dun dun dunnnn... Draco Malfoy walks over to their table!_   
  
**Peter Pan:** Hah, you had to walk, but I can fly! *flies* See? Ha ha!   
  
**Draco:** So? I'm rich! Ha, so there! *throws money*   
  
_A gold coin thing, also known as a Galleon, hits Peter in the head. He falls to the ground, passed out._   
  
**Wendy:** Gasp! You killed Peter Pan! *cries and drags Peter away*   
  
**Draco:** I'm rich! Hahahahahhaa!!! *throws more money*   
  
**Hermione:** I should get to work on that spell right away! *flies off*   
  
**Draco:** *watches* That's odd... *pause* I'm rich! I'm rich! Just call me... Richie Rich!   
  
**Random person:** That name's taken, duh!   
  
_Ahem... leaving Draco alone with his money, we head along to the teacher's table... also called the 'Head Table' or something... Or maybe it was called the 'Staff Table'? Oh well..._   
  
**Snape:** I can't believe this! It'll take me forever to get this pumpkin juice out of my hair! *tugs*   
  
**Dumbledore:** *points and laughs*   
  
**Snape:** *glare*   
  
**McGonagall:** Cow manure.   
  
**Snape:** Huh?   
  
**McGonagall:** I said cow manure. Use it to get the pumpkin juice out. It works every time. I should know.   
  
**Snape:** ......Why cow manure?   
  
**McGonagall:** DO NOT QUESTION ME!!!   
  
**Snape:** *frowns* FINE! THEN DON'T YELL AT MEEE!!!   
  
**McGonagall:** I'M NOT YELLING!!!   
  
**Snape:** YES YOU AREEE!!!   
  
**McGonagall:** FINE, I'LL STOP!!!   
  
**Snape:** GOOD!!!   
  
_Suddenly, for some unknown and completely strange reason, Snape and McGonagall begin making out.   
  
..............   
  
Hahaha... Just kidding._   
  
**Snape:** I hate you. A lot.   
  
**McGonagall:** And I hate you, too. More, even. Times a hundred.   
  
**Dumbledore:** Suching loving people you all are! *giggles and tosses flowers*   
  
**McGonagall:** *stares* Gasp... Dumbledore!   
  
**Hagrid:** I 'new it! 'E stole it, din' 'e?!   
  
**McGonagall:** ....Huh?   
  
**Hagrid:** Eh... neve'min' meh... *knocks down the nearest wall and runs off*   
  
**Sprout:** Oh no, he'll crush my killer tomatoes! *runs after*   
  
**Dumbledore:** Well, that wasn't strange at all! *giggles more*   
  
**Snape:** But that was.   
  
**Dumbledore:** Hmmm? What was that, Double S? I didn't quite catch it...   
  
**Snape:** Oh, uh... nothing. *pause* Double S???   
  
**Dumbledore:** Yes, Double S! Because your name's Severus Snape. SS! Two of them! Double! S! Double S! Do you li-   
  
**McGonagall:** WILL YOU TWO SHUSH FOR A MINUTE?!   
  
**Snape:** *blinks* Somebody's got major PMS...   
  
**McGonagall:** DO NOT! *clears throat* Now... Dumbledore! Care to explain to me why you're in a... wheelchair?   
  
**Dumbledore:** No. You're mean. You interrupted my talk with Double S! *sticks tongue out* So there!   
  
**McGonagall:** ....... *bursts into tears* Nobody likes me! I'm just the batty old teacher who can turn into a cat! Everyone hates me! *weep weep*   
  
_Ahem... time to visit the students once more! So... back to the, uh... Gryffindor table we go!_   
  
**Harry:** Thank goodness I can see again! But where's Hermione?   
  
**Ron:** Who cares! Tell me more about how Muggles scrub the toilet bowl!   
  
**Harry:** Errr... maybe later.   
  
**Ron:** Awww, come on! I'll uh... be your best friend!   
  
**Harry:** ...You already _are_ my best friend...   
  
**Ron:** Oh, right... Well, then, I'll give you all my money! *nods*   
  
_Draco, who was standing right behind them and listening, bursts out laughing._   
  
**Draco:** Since... when... *gasp* does... Weasley... *laugh* have money?! *more laughter*   
  
**Ron:** *blush* I have money! It's just... uh... invisible! Yeah, invisible! *nods*   
  
_Draco stops laughing immediately._   
  
**Draco:** Really?! Where, where??? *looks around* Tell me!   
  
_He starts running around, searching._   
  
**Draco:** Is it here? No. Here? No. Here? *looks inside Neville Longbottom's ear* Ewww... no. Here? *looks under a girl's skirt*   
  
**Girl:** *screams and punches Draco* Creep!   
  
**Draco:** Guess not... X_x *passes out*   
  
**Another girl:** Ohhh... fresh meat! *turns into a wolf and starts knawing Draco's arm*   
  
**Harry:** O.o Bad wolf, bad! *shoots*   
  
**Wolf-girl:** Nooo!!! *dies* X_X   
  
**Ron:** Harry! What'd you go and do a thing like that for?!   
  
**Harry:** Hey, it's hunting season! Lighten up!   
  
**Ron:** Not that! Draco was about to get eaten! And now, thanks to you, he won't! *cries*   
  
**Harry:** Oh... right. *un-shoots wolf*   
  
**Wolf-girl:** *revived* Yes, I liiiive!!!   
  
**Lupin:** Hey, how come I can't talk in wolf form but she can?   
  
_Harry was about to say something naughty.. ahem, I mean... ask Lupin a question, when he stopped._   
  
**Harry:** Oh no! May day, may day! Umbridge is coming! I repeat, Umbridge is coming! Everyone, act natural!   
  
_So, everyone starts to 'act natural.' Lupin scratches his ear... with his foot, Ron stands on his head, Harry chews his fingers, Neville picks his nose, Draco tap dances (though still passed out) etc..._   
  
**Umbridge:** *waddles up* _Hem hem_ *coughs* GO TO CLASS!!! _Hem hem._   
  
**Ron:** *blood rushing to his head* But, lunch isn't over yet!   
  
**Umbridge:** _Hem hem_ *coughs* I SAID GO TO CLASS!!! _Hem hem._   
  
_Everyone starts to cry, whimper, etc because Umbridge is such an evil, evil, person! Grrrr..._   
  
**Wolf-girl:** *eats Umbridge*   
  
**Everyone:** Yaaaaaaay!!!   
  
**Wolf-girl:** Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick...   
  
**Everyone:** Yaaaaaaay!!!   
  
**Wolf-girl:** *throws up*   
  
**Everyone:** Yaaaa- Ewwwwwww!!!   
  
_They all climb up onto the table. Suddenly, the thrown-up Umbridge leaps to her feet, still alive. Darn. Hermione chooses that moment to come back, too._   
  
**Umbridge:** YOU'RE ALL FIRED!!! _Hem hem._   
  
**Hermione:** Fired? But... we're students! You can't-   
  
**Neville:** Oh my god?! Fired??? FIRED?!?! What am I gonna tell the children?! *weeps* This is too much! *runs off*   
  
**Umbridge:** _Hem hem_ FINE! THEN YOU'RE ALL GROUNDED!!! _Hem hem._   
  
**Hermione:** ....You can't ground us, either. Only a parent or guardian can-   
  
**Ron:** I'm grounded?! But, that's not fair! I want a re-match! *pounds fist onto Harry's head*   
  
**Harry:** *bites down onto fingers* Owwww!!!   
  
**Umbridge:** *grumbles* Ugh... FINE! YOU ALL HAVE DETENTION! GOOD DAY!!! _Hem hem_ *waddles off*   
  
**Draco:** *tap dances over to a window* Hey... *looks out* What's that big black thing? *points*   
  
**Hermione:** Why, it's a jet! *pause* Oh no! My spell didn't work! *sigh*   
  
**Dumbledore:** *rolls over to them* Spell? What spell?   
  
**Hermione:** Oh! Professor Dumbledore! Errrr, well, you see, I placed a spell upon myself so that I would forget all my Muggle thoughts and such, but... it didn't work! *wrings hands*   
  
**Dumbledore:** Ahhh... well, don't worry! I took down the magical barrier thing, remember? So, no one can casts spells! And our school isn't hidden from non-magical beings, either! *giggles*   
  
**Harry:** Right, the magic's gone! I forgot about that!   
  
**Hermione:** Oh dear! So did I...   
  
**Ron:** Uhhhh... hey guys... *points out the window* Look.   
  
_Harry, Draco, Hermione, Dumbledore, and whoever else happened to be nearby, looks out the window._   
  
**Hermione:** Oh no! People are coming out of the jet!   
  
**Harry:** Well, what did you expect? Chipmunks?   
  
**Hermione:** *thwaps* Quiet, Harry.   
  
**Draco:** I'm rich, hahahahaha! But are they???   
  
**Snape:** I think the real quesion is... _Who_ are they?   
  
_Yes, who are the mysterious people (not chipmunks) coming out of the black jet? Where did they come from? What do they want? And why is Snape putting his hands around Harry's neck?_   
  
**Harry:** O.o Help... me....   
  
------------------------------   
  
**Ending Stuff:** Well, that's the end of chapter four. I hope you all liked it, and I also hope it made you laugh. Even if just a little ^_^ Can't think of much else to say, so... Keep checking back for the next chappie! XD 


End file.
